Xander was
up for it when he heard how much money I’d come into, George was soon out of
the picture and Xander and I were blissfully together. However, something happened on the way to
forever, Xander got Repetitive Strain Injury and couldn’t play his guitar, he
got a job in a bank instead. In the
evenings he was always there, sitting on the couch, enlarging his beer belly
with cans of Stella and farting. He
wasn’t FUN anymore. Soon I met John,
John was a chemist and I really like drugs, so we had loads in common. John wanted to be with me, so it seemed only
fair to ask him to arrange an overdose for Xander. Didn’t really matter if Xander suffered,
afterall he’d killed the lovely dependable George; so I didn’t have much
sympathy.
John liked
the idea of me inheriting music royalties.
Xander was despatched and given his history of substance abuse, no-one
was surprised. It was great with John
for eighteen months, having sex while taking ecstasy is wonderful. Then I got fed up of it and I didn’t like
John’s habit of leaving his hairs in the sink after shaving. Dan was a cop who was exploring some
irregularities surrounding Xander’s death; he fell totally in love with me
during his investigation. He liked
upholding the law, I like breaking it, so we had loads in common. He arrested John for Xander’s murder, John
tried to make out that I’d had a part in it, what rubbish! Such a shame that John died after a beating in
prison while on remand. Lovely of Dan to
arrange it.
Dan was a
pain. Wouldn’t let me leave the house, suspicious,
can’t think why. I’d sit on the window
ledge staring out at the street. Dmitri
would see me on his way home at night, I’d open my window and we’d have a
chat. He was shocked to learn that Dan
wouldn’t let me leave the house. Dmitri
was from Russia and I’ve been more people than one of those Russian dolls – an identity
for every new man - so we have loads in common.
So kind of him to run Dan over in his 4x4.
Curiously,
once I’d moved in with Dmitri, I realised I didn’t actually feel anything. I’d look at us in the mirror and see two
strangers; he seems older and fatter than the man I saw out of my window. I’m trying to evoke those first feelings of
passionate love I’d had with ... when had I last felt that way? Xander?
I miss Xander and George. George
was always there for me and Xander was FUN.
Still, can’t go back now, can only continue. Onwards and upwards.