“Boss, you gotta believe me. I was in the middle cubicle,
all the other toilets were empty. I’d sat down and I couldn’t get
away. That’s when I heard it breathing, a horrible rasping noise,
sibilant and cold. It told me I deserved to be destroyed, but first it
was going to take everyone else.
“First I doubted, then people started to disappear. Abdul
went to the loo in the middle of a meeting and didn’t return. “Abdul’s
taking ages,” I stated.
“Abdul who?” you asked.
“The guy who’s perpetually on his phone during presentations.”
Everyone looked at me blankly; “There is no Abdul here,” you said,
shortly.
“Next was Sam, the receptionist. She knew
Abdul. I was about to tell her the Thing in the bogs got him, but she
said ‘Just a minute, got to make a visit’ and she didn’t come back. What
do you mean there’s no receptionist? There’s a reception here isn’t
there? There were more disappearances – Kyle, John, Andy, Jen ... I
can’t understand why you’re shaking your head.
“Tell me you recall Mary, my best mate. I wouldn’t let her
go to the loo alone, I told her about the Thing and she nodded in that
understanding way of hers and asked me what it thought I’d done. Of
course I couldn’t tell her. We went to the ladies together, me into the
middle cubicle, she into the end. Then I heard it, that raspy growl – in
... out ... in ... out. I shat myself, quite convenient considering where
I was. I shouted a warning, but ... silence, the Thing had gone. I
thought maybe Mary got out, but there was no sign of her in the office. I
asked you and you wore the blank look you’re giving me now; “Mary who?” you
said. That’s when you asked me if I was stressed. “I’m seeing the
on-site counsellor,” I answered.
You replied; “There's no counsellor here.”
I knew then it’d gotten Carly, the only person I could speak to. I
was going to warn her about the Thing, but I just didn’t.
“Stop looking at me like that, I’m not insane!
There’s a Thing in the toilets that’s killing everyone!
It’s saving me til last - you know like the best bit of dessert for the last
mouthful. Please believe me! No, I can’t tell you why. I
can’t tell anyone! Look, think about this rationally! This is a
huge building, a massive organisation and there’s just two of us here,
working on a project designed for heaps of people to do! Put it together
– empty reception, empty corridors, empty offices! What do you think’s
happened? What do you mean you’ve got to make a phone call? Wait a
minute, where are you going first? Don’t go to the toilet! Oh
God! Please!”
Well, she’s gone in there, hasn’t she? I’m left alone in
this open plan office, I can hear it now, I think it’s got into the air
conditioning vents. Perhaps it’ll find its way under my desk, slither up
my chair ... I’m pretty certain it’s invisible. Well, at least no-one
knows what it is and why it’s here. I do. Maybe I should just leave
the office. Thing is, gotta pay the bills, haven’t I? I wonder if
it got everyone in payroll ... I'm confronting it. I've got some bleach,
that’ll kill any nasty unclean Thing and I’ve got a plunger. I’m going to
lure it back to its territory. I'm going to the loo - I might be some
time.
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