Tuesday 11 June 2013

INTO THE OPEN

“It’s OK,” you told me, “I’ll take care of it.  You mustn’t worry about anything.”
I nodded in agreement, because you were the fastest runner, the better hunter and you stood a good chance of surviving outside our shelter alone.

The first time you returned, you wouldn’t let me look, you covered your face and arms, handed me the deer you’d caught and went and sat quietly in the corner.  I bled it, skinned it, cooked it, but you barely ate anything, just enough to keep you alive.  The deer could have lasted longer, but my appetite got the better of me.  I couldn’t stop eating.  Pretty soon, you had to go out again.  I muttered under my breath that perhaps it was my turn to take a chance, to go into the open, but you shook your head fiercely and I was somewhat weighed down with food.

You were gone a long time.  I thought maybe something had happened.  Your people weren’t particularly happy; you’d gone against their wishes when you’d taken up with me.  Perhaps they had become dissatisfied with just punishing you by isolation, by leaving you out of the hunting groups, depriving you of the protective gear that kept the vicious rays of the sun off you... Maybe they’d thought of something worse.  I hoped not.  I was getting so hungry.

I was relieved when I heard your footsteps, but I didn’t like the stagger in them.  This time you showed me how the sun had burned through your skin, that parts of your arms were bleeding and your once beautiful face was scarred.  You’d only managed to catch a rabbit this time, you apologised for failing me and cried.

I was determined I would go out next time, even though I'd eaten so much recently it made me puffed out to even stand.  I couldn’t imagine hunting, I was sure my growing belly would slow me down, but I was determined I’d do it for you.  However, when I woke from a long sleep, made deeper by eating all of the rabbit, you’d gone.  Somehow, I seem to recall being half asleep and you whispering to me that you weren’t sure if you had the strength, but you’d try, you’d really try.

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