THE KING

The King looked down upon his magnificent court room where everything glittered; all was well.  His servants, the Trusted Ones had come to pay tribute.

Beside him the queen looked sympathetically at the huddle of worried looking royal advisors clustered in the shabby throne room which was in need of repainting.

“What news?” asked the King, without awaiting a response, “admire my new crown.  It came from Arcadious, the finest designer in the land!”

“Your Majesty, Lord Lucious and his armies are breaching our defences,” ventured the chief Trusted One.

“And my new steed is in the stables,” continued the King, “supplied by the Stud of Raahh, it will neither shed fur nor fart methane.”

“I’m afraid the stables are on fire,” pointed out the head Trusted One, “Lord Lucious is nearly upon us.”

“My darling,” said the queen, “pray ye take heed to your trusted man.”

The King waved his hand at the Trusted Ones; “Leave us!”

They gave him simpering smiles and withdrew.

The queen watched the Trusted Ones depart, shaking their heads and muttering.  The King then turned, his face inches from hers, his eyes darkening; “How dare you tell me what to do, woman!   You make me look weak!”

“Your Majesty, the Trusted Ones seek to point out that while you’ve been having crowns made for you by the most expensive designer you can find; and having an environmentally friendly horse found at great cost, your people have been starving.  For you have spent all the coin in the budget and they have called upon Lord Lucious to ...”

“Silence!” roared the King, “do not correct me, it is not your place.  You are here to smile and wave.”

“But your Majesty, Lord Lucious …”

“Enough!” the King took the queen by her arm and dragged her to her feet, he pulled her across the throne room to the door outside which the Trusted Ones waited and pushed her out among them.  They smiled at him approvingly.

The queen saw the looks of horrified sympathy on the faces of the Trusted Ones and was humiliated.  She could hear the roar of battle outside the walls, how could the King not perceive it?  She rushed to the tower to join the royal children.

“Come my darlings, we must go to the crypt where we will find tunnels which will allow us to escape, for Lord Lucious’ forces are imminent.”

“Daddy says Lord Lucious is his best friend,” princess Aurelia stated.

“Yes, Mummy, Lord Lucious would never invade, he’s fearful of father’s might,” prince Peter added.

“Silly Mummy!” giggled little prince John.

A cannonball slammed into the tower, causing it to shake, the children continued to play while the queen wondered what to do.

In the throne room, the King proudly showed the Trusted Ones his plans to expand his Kingdom.

“But your Majesty, you don’t own those lands anymore, you sold them to pay for fine tunics from Arcadious.  How do you think you’re going to be able to annex the lands next to them?” the chief advisor asked.

“Put him to death, he gives me a headache,” the King ordered his guards.

“Your Majesty, I cannot, the courtyard is over-run by enemy forces, look out the window,” the guard urged, face pale with fear.

“No, no, no,” the King responded, “I’m not going to be taken in by one of your jokes.”

The throne room door broke open and there stood Sir Lucious in all his fearful glory, surrounded by his men.

“Mercy!” cried the Kings’ guards and flung down their swords.

“Mercy!” cried the Trusted Ones and fell to their knees.

“Lucious, dear fellow!” the King greeted.

“I’ve come to take your Kingdom,” Lucious said, “here are the heads of your children and your queen who died bravely defending them.”  He emptied a bag and the severed heads rolled to the foot of the throne, “you have no lands, no offspring, your guards have surrendered and your people embrace me as liberator …”

The King waved his hand imperiously; “Well, you have made a bit of a start on negotiations.  I suppose I can offer you 30 per cent of my lands.”