THE CONVENTIONALS

You lead such a colourful life and have an open, trusting nature which causes you to share it with everyone.  That’s why you’re an easy target.  It’s blatantly obvious you’re having personal problems, so we’ve made sure the rumours have been spread and that you have been portrayed in the most unflattering light.

We’d been nice to you previously, so it must come as a shock that there’s no more small talk or lunch invitations.  We are letting you feel our unspoken disapproval for the choices you have made outside work, but it’s nothing you can put your finger on.  You’d be able to stand up for yourself if it was in the open, but this is a subtle push towards your complete isolation.

Your personal problems are bound to affect your work.  We noticed the report typed in the wrong font and the empty water bottle you left on your desk, making the office look untidy.  We took you aside and admonished you for those things.  You looked confused for a moment; then behaved as though you thought we were joking.  We were quickly able to assure you we weren’t and then you couldn’t apologise fast enough.

You’re losing confidence rapidly, the more we focus on your work and pick up those errors in style and wording, the more mistakes you make.  Now you’re too nervous to write a basic report.  We’ve noticed your hands shake as you send work to us; we think it’s because of the bottle of wine we’ve told everyone you’re drinking every night.  We keep telling you to see your GP, that we care, that we want to help ...

Heaven forbid our work came under such scrutiny, with my sickness record and Donna’s blatant incompetence, my God, we’d never bear up under the strain.  That’s why it’s so lovely to have a scapegoat like you – your misdemeanour outside the office makes us look whiter than white.  It’s open season now.  We will pick up your every mistake and amplify it and the noise we create will make it look like we’re doing our jobs.  We are the Conventionals and you have upset us.  Give it time and we can make things far worse for you.  We’ve done this before.  Once our target is destroyed we move on.