Warp of the Words
Twisted thoughts provoked by overheard conversations, dark dreams and unhealthy appetites ...
Saturday, 2 January 2021
Sunday, 27 December 2020
THE RISK
I have adhered to the rules until now. I’ve done what others have, made my home beautiful and stayed in it. I was happy in my obedience, but then I saw you. You had the same government sanctioned exercise slot as me and we jogged alongside each other, two metres apart. Even though it is not permitted, our eyes met as we passed under the cherry tree. I put it out of my mind.
You were there again the next day and I ignored you because talking is forbidden. You ran a little ahead of me and I saw you tack paper to the cherry tree, as I passed I tore it off and put it in my pocket. When I got home I read your note. It had your phone number on it. We began texting on the encrypted service. I told you about the colour scheme in my home, you told me about the furniture in yours. We talked about our jobs and the supermarket delivery service. Not much to say, every day is the same here but when you described your cosy sofa you made me feel like I was sitting with you on it, my head on your shoulder. The isolation receded and I was dizzy with happiness.
The next day I didn’t see you on my run, until I reached the cherry tree, you were standing beneath it, pretending to take a breather, but your eyes were on me as I ran. You stretched out your hand and for a second I brushed it with my fingers. I couldn’t stay home that night, the four walls could not hold me, I needed space. When darkness fell, even though it is not permitted, I went out. I ran to the cherry tree and touched the bark that you had touched when you tacked your note on it. I was about to go straight back to the safety of my home and forget this, when suddenly you were under the tree with me. We laughed at each other. Keeping two metres apart, we talked, hearing each other’s voices for the first time. We discussed the crisis, where we had been when it had started and how we coped with the isolation. Then we talked about the times before, when you could go somewhere and get to know someone, when we were free. We knew we had little time before we were discovered and that we should be heading back, but you suddenly said; “Will you take a risk for me? I want to touch you.”
I looked around, there was no-one. I gazed at your face, then glanced up at the tree above us and the stars in the sky. I closed the gap, step by step. Then I was in your arms, my lips grazing your cheek.
We stayed like that even when we heard the shouts and the running feet.
Thursday, 12 September 2019
THE PARTICIPANT
Another hotel lobby, my ID badge is heavy on my neck and I
have an impending headache. No-one
notices me, just another grey official.
You learn to read body language in this job and the person coming
through the rotating door has a mild startled look when confronted by the
pristine hotel reception. I move
immediately to welcome.
“Derek? Hi, I’m Gill.” As we travel in the lift I explain; “thank
you for coming, we’re looking for people like you to help us with our
research. I can’t go too much into what
today’s research is about or I’ll bias you, but this is for you,” I hand him
his thank you payment, “just ensure what you expect is in there.”
Derek is relaxing, he takes the envelope, counts the cash
and nods.
I open the door of the conference room and watch him take it
all in, two bottles of water in the middle of the table, one still and one
sparkling, the upside down tumblers next to them, the blood on the mahogany,
the body slumped on the chair, throat cut.
Messy.
I shut the door behind us and hand him a cloth; “So, to get
started, can you clean the table?”
He looks at me, mouth slack in a square shape, like an
outraged infant; “Shouldn’t we – c-call the Police?”
I frown; “Why would we do that?”
“Because of the-the body.”
“Is that what you think that is?” I ask expressionlessly.
“It looks like – like …”
“Take your time.”
“Real,” he says.
“Everyone says that,” I counter reassuringly.
His shoulders sag with relief and he gamely takes the cloth
and begins mopping up the blood. I ready
the tarpaulin bag that I’d brought down earlier; “As you work,” I request,
“just say whatever comes into your mind, think aloud if you will.”
“It’s very sticky, the blood – is it blood?”
“What do you think it is?”
“I don’t know,” he gives me an embarrassed half smile.
“You’ve done a great job there,” I say, “can you grab the
legs? I’ll get the shoulders. Again, just talk me through your thoughts as
we do this.”
“Um, she’s wearing heels, Louboutin’s,” he says, as we
placed Carla’s lifeless body onto the tarpaulin, “her skin is warm. Is she still alive?”
“What do you think?” I ask.
“She feels very real, this is very authentic.”
“What is?” I place
the cleaning cloths in with Carla and zip up the bag neatly and efficiently.
“This experience,” he half laughs again, “you’d think I’d
taken part in disposing of a body.”
“What did you expect to take part in?”
“It said a test.”
I smile.
“Oh!” he says sounding even more relieved, “it’s all a
research test thingy.”
We place the tarpaulin bag containing Carla onto a trolley.
I smile and shake his hand; “Thank you very much for your
time, Derek. The restroom is on the left
if you want to wash your hands. You’ve
got my e-mail address if you have questions.”
“Thank you,” he says, cheerful now that it’s over and he can
go into his Friday evening.
I show him
out and return. I wheel the trolley with
the tarpaulin bag on it out into the car park where I tip the bag into the boot
of my car for disposal later. I sigh
with relief. Carla really shouldn’t have
kept insisting that we do things differently.
We’ve done things the same way for so long and we’re not going to change
now. All this talk of innovation! Thank goodness for Derek, originally
recruited to test a prototype website.
However, I couldn’t lift Carla’s body up by myself and we always have
and always will value the help of members of the public.
Tuesday, 13 August 2019
GREY ROCK
Bellflower
was the most beautiful in the garden with soft pink flowers and delicate
leaves. People who passed her stopped to
take close ups of her to post on Instagram.
The Goldthread vine that grew nearby wasn’t admired, so no-one noticed when he crawled
ever closer to Bellflower until he was in whispering distance. “You look beautiful today. But don’t you get tired of all those people
sniffing your flowers and pressing their phone cameras against them? It’s so intrusive.”
“I don’t
know how to stop them,” said Bellflower.
Goldthread
touched Bellflower gently with one of his vines, she didn’t protest, so he
stayed, telling her how amazing she looked, how stunning her flowers were and
how awful it was that she had to endure all this attention.
Bellflower
became dependent on the daily compliments of Goldthread, she felt comforted by
his cool vines that gently wrapped themselves around her branches, hiding her
flowers from sight so the people didn’t come with their cameras. Soon Goldthread became her world, everywhere she
looked there he was, always smiling, protecting her.
Gradually
Goldthread opened up to Bellflower, telling her of the problems he was facing. He was ugly, no-one looked at him, he couldn’t get sufficient nutrients from
the soil, it was easier to get his supply from other plants. Could Bellflower help? Gladly she gave him a share of the nutrients
she sucked from the soil and Goldthread told her how kind she was.
The summer wore
on and Bellflower dug deep for water; she’d been all right last summer, but
this summer she was constantly thirsty.
“Goldthread,
how much water are you taking?” she asked.
“Oh loads,”
he responded glibly, “I’m growing another vine.
You don’t mind do you?”
“I’m very
thirsty …”
“What?”
cried Goldthread, “how can you be so selfish?
I’m here every day for you, shielding you from the people …”
“I didn’t
ask you to …”
“Don’t
interrupt me!” Goldthread tightened his hold on Bellflower, squeezing her with
his vines until she begged for mercy. Afterwards
Bellflower sobbed, but Goldthread behaved as if nothing had happened. He continued to drink and feast from her
until she grew weak and ill.
“Please
Goldthread,” she’d mutter, realising her flowers were dull and her leaves were
shrivelling, “is this fair?”
But
Goldthread always had excuses and worse was the drip of insults he now fed her;
“You used to be so generous, you used to be beautiful, but now you’re mean and
sad all the time.”
The gardener
returned from her holiday and was shocked to find her most prized plant nearly suffocated
by Goldthread’s vines.
“I don’t
know what happened,” the under-gardener said.
“That pesky
Goldthread!” sighed the gardener. She
dug Bellflower up and with great patience and gentleness removed every one of
Goldthread’s vines.
The
under-gardener took Bellflower to the south patio and put her in a tub, where
she could be intensely fed and watered.
The gardener
looked thoughtfully at Goldthread and placed beside him a dull grey rock.
When she had gone, Goldthread said; “I can’t
believe they’ve taken away Bellflower, the love of my life! All I did was care for her!”
“Indeed,”
said the rock.
“Will you
comfort me?” wept Goldthread and tried to put his vines on the rock, but the
rock felt cold and he couldn’t get a grip on it.
“I’m sure
you’re very upset,” said the rock.
Goldthread
complained endlessly about his injuries, he tried his hardest to entangle the
rock, but got no supply from it; not even when it rained, the water just seemed
to fall off the rock, like Goldthread’s vines.
On the south patio, Goldthread could see Bellflower flourishing in her
tub and he became sick with envy and loss.
The dull grey rock was no help; it just went right on being there,
soaking up the sun, shrugging off the rain.
Thursday, 1 August 2019
THE KING
The King looked down upon his magnificent court room where
everything glittered; all was well. His
servants, the Trusted Ones had come to pay tribute.
Beside him the queen looked sympathetically at the huddle of
worried looking royal advisors clustered in the shabby throne room which was in
need of repainting.
“What news?” asked the King, without awaiting a response, “admire my new crown. It came from
Arcadious, the finest designer in the land!”
“Your Majesty, Lord Lucious and his armies are breaching our defences,”
ventured the chief Trusted One.
“And my new steed is in the stables,” continued the King, “supplied by the
Stud of Raahh, it will neither shed fur nor fart methane.”
“I’m afraid the stables are on fire,” pointed out the head Trusted One,
“Lord Lucious is nearly upon us.”
“My darling,” said the queen, “pray ye take heed to your trusted man.”
The King waved his hand at the Trusted Ones; “Leave us!”
They gave him simpering smiles and withdrew.
The queen
watched the Trusted Ones depart, shaking their heads and muttering. The King then turned, his face inches from
hers, his eyes darkening; “How dare you tell me what to do, woman! You
make me look weak!”
“Your
Majesty, the Trusted Ones seek to point out that while you’ve been having crowns
made for you by the most expensive designer you can find; and having an environmentally
friendly horse found at great cost, your people have been starving. For you have spent all the coin in the budget
and they have called upon Lord Lucious to ...”
“Silence!”
roared the King, “do not correct me, it is not your place. You are here to smile and wave.”
“But your
Majesty, Lord Lucious …”
“Enough!”
the King took the queen by her arm and dragged her to her feet, he pulled her
across the throne room to the door outside which the Trusted Ones waited and pushed
her out among them. They smiled at him
approvingly.
The queen
saw the looks of horrified sympathy on the faces of the Trusted Ones and was
humiliated. She could hear the roar of
battle outside the walls, how could the King not perceive it? She rushed to the tower to join the royal
children.
“Come my
darlings, we must go to the crypt where we will find tunnels which will allow
us to escape, for Lord Lucious’ forces are imminent.”
“Daddy says
Lord Lucious is his best friend,” princess Aurelia stated.
“Yes, Mummy,
Lord Lucious would never invade, he’s fearful of father’s might,” prince Peter
added.
“Silly
Mummy!” giggled little prince John.
A cannonball
slammed into the tower, causing it to shake, the children continued to play while
the queen wondered what to do.
In the
throne room, the King proudly showed the Trusted Ones his plans to expand his
Kingdom.
“But your
Majesty, you don’t own those lands anymore, you sold them to pay for fine
tunics from Arcadious. How do you think
you’re going to be able to annex the lands next to them?” the chief advisor
asked.
“Put him to
death, he gives me a headache,” the King ordered his guards.
“Your
Majesty, I cannot, the courtyard is over-run by enemy forces, look out the
window,” the guard urged, face pale with fear.
“No, no, no,”
the King responded, “I’m not going to be taken in by one of your jokes.”
The throne
room door broke open and there stood Sir Lucious in all his fearful glory, surrounded
by his men.
“Mercy!”
cried the Kings’ guards and flung down their swords.
“Mercy!”
cried the Trusted Ones and fell to their knees.
“Lucious,
dear fellow!” the King greeted.
“I’ve come
to take your Kingdom,” Lucious said, “here are the heads of your children and
your queen who died bravely defending them.”
He emptied a bag and the severed heads rolled to the foot of the throne,
“you have no lands, no offspring, your guards have surrendered and your people
embrace me as liberator …”
The King waved
his hand imperiously; “Well, you have made a bit of a start on
negotiations. I suppose I can offer you
30 per cent of my lands.”
Monday, 2 January 2017
FEED THE BIRDS
Billy and
Missy saw the sign – ‘Feed the Birds’ and it sounded like the right thing to do.
They bought seed and hung feeders on
their pear tree. They were delighted
when the first cautious birds arrived.
“So relaxing
to watch,” said Billy.“Better than TV,” agreed Missy.
The next morning there were birds of many colours and shapes in their garden, clinging to the feeders or pecking at the seeds spilt on the lawn. Their joyous song seeped through the walls of the house and filled Billy and Missy with over-whelming happiness. Missy dragged herself to work, cheering herself up with the thought she’d see the birds later, then remembered it would be dark when she got home.
Later she
found Billy working with a flashlight in the garden.
“The feeders
were empty,” he reported, “we need to give them more.”Jody, their neighbour peered over the hedge; “Are you putting up a bird table in the dark?”
“Yes,” Missy said, “to surprise the birds in the morning.”
“The birds aren’t the only ones surprised,” muttered Jody and went indoors.
Missy and Billy got up with the sun to a riot of colour and noise in the garden. There were blue birds swinging on the bird feeders, tipping seed to the doves on the lawn below and yellow canaries on the bird table, spilling seed on the ground where it was consumed by golden pheasants. Missy was sure to refill the feeders before she went to work, but even with Billy’s help, she was still late. She left the office before it got dark having been distracted all day. She stopped at the shop going straight to the section that sold bird seed and arrived back to find an empty, silent garden.
“No!” she cried, “come back!”
She refilled the feeders and spread seed on the table, but the birds didn’t return.
Billy came home to find her crying in the living room.
“I don’t know what happened,” she said and called in sick the next day.
The birds
returned in greater numbers, devouring everything within hours, Missy raced to
the shop, buying sacks of seeds with the last of her wages. She spent the day refilling the feeders and
replenishing the table, hearing the shrill calls of the birds all around her.
“Never leave me again,” she repeated.
Her phone
rang; “Missy, I saw you at the shops.
You’re meant to be sick, but you were lugging big sacks into your boot
like a healthy person. What’s going on?”“I have to feed the birds,” she replied.
“I have to let you go, Missy. You’ve been coming in late, leaving early and now this …”
Missy hung up the receiver and heard a knock on the door, a Police Officer stood outside.
“Can I come in, Madam?”
“It’s not a good time.”
“We’re not asking, Madam, we’ve arrested your husband for stealing materials from his work. We’ve got a warrant to search the house.”
They searched, while Missy sat in the living room staring out at the empty bird table, the Police had frightened the birds away. Officers trooped into the garden and looked with great suspicion at the bird table, but they couldn’t charge Billy because the materials were not as his employer had described them.
“We’ve both lost our jobs,” Missy said, clinging to Billy later, “how are we going to afford to feed the birds?”
They lay awake, restless, waiting for dawn when the birds came and they were filled with a sense of wonder and release. Then they noticed something, the golden pheasants had not returned. In their place at the bottom of the bird table were squat Black Birds with sharp beaks and red eyes. The pretty birds flew away when they arrived.
“Oh what are they?” Missy banged on the window, but the Black Birds stared through the glass at her. One flapped clumsily onto the table, tipping the contents on the lawn, another tore the bird feeder from the pear tree and it fell open on the lawn. The Black Birds ate everything in the garden before taking off as one. Missy and Billy walked onto the grass, all around them birds sang beseechingly from the hedge, they put out more seed and the pretty birds returned.
Seed was
running out and there was no money to buy more.
Missy and Billy lay on the couch watching the sun set and the birds fly
away. There was a knock at the
door. Jody stood there with a casserole
dish; “You’re not eating. All you need
do is warm this up, I’ll do it if you like,” she looked past them at the dirty
floors and the undone washing up.
Billy
snatched the dish from her; “It’s OK, thanks.”“Jody, if you want to help us, can you bring bird seed?” Missy asked.
“You know I can’t do that,” Jody stated firmly.
Later Jody watched from her window as Billy and Missy tipped the contents of the casserole dish onto the bird table. In the morning the Black Birds came and ate it. By evening there was nothing left, no seed, no food and no pretty birds in the garden, just silence. Billy and Missy dozed in the living room, waking with the sun, dry mouthed and shaking, their emaciated bodies weak. Together they helped each other out into the garden, taking the clothes from each other’s bodies and lying on the frost covered grass beneath the bird table; ready for the arrival of the Black Birds.
Monday, 19 December 2016
A CHRISTMAS PARTY
Emalina
scowled at the Christmas do email. It
looked like something more fitting for Hallowe’en; dinner at a theme park hotel
after a ride on the ghost train. Alice who
was into all that nonsense had been the organiser.
The sound of
giggling trickled round the open plan office as the team read the email. Emalina looked up sharply and everyone went
back to what they were doing, except Natalie who was approaching, a determined
smile on her face.
“Excuse me,
Emalina, I was wondering if you could spare a moment?”“If it’s to listen to an idea you have about making the company more money or a sales contract you’ve brought in, I’ve got all the time in the world. I’ve noticed you haven’t been as productive as when we first employed you. Don’t get too comfortable will you?”
“Actually, it’s about a sponsored sky dive I’m doing in January – I know brrr! - for the children’s charity I raise money for. I was wondering how much I could put you down for.”
“Nothing.”
“It’s a centre for child victims of domestic violence. It gives them and their Mums a safe place to stay and …”
“The men are aggressors and the women are fools,” Emalina interrupted, “their children will grow up to be one or the other, why should I help? Alex, you’re staring at me.”
“I’m admiring your strong stance, Emalina,” Alex replied smoothly as Natalie hurried back to her desk, “are you going to the Christmas do?”
“Yes. I need to keep an eye on you all,” Emalina got to her feet and walked slowly into the centre of the office. Once she was satisfied she had everyone’s attention, she added; “At the Christmas do there will be no wine on the tables, no free bar, it will be a teetotal affair and it will finish before 2230 hours. Gloria, you’re an intern, you don’t get to come.”
“If we’re not there directly she’ll suspect we’ve had a drink,” Lucy said.
“I’m walking as fast as I can,” replied Natalie tottering on her high heels.
“So awful about Ashley, fired before Christmas,” Lucy continued.
“And she’s told Gloria she’s got to work tomorrow, so she can’t fly out to her family for Christmas Day. The poor girl doesn’t even get paid!” James added.
“Our intervention will save them,” Alice stated, dressed in white as always and looking ethereal.
“Your intervention,” Alex said, “sounds like weird shit to me. James, she said she didn’t like that Christmas tie, take it off.”
“I’ll put it on after she’s been on the ghost train,” James said because he had faith in Alice.
Emalina was waiting at the theme park entrance, looking round anxiously. When she saw them, her face hardened; “What time do you call this?”
“I was slow in my heels,” Natalie replied. Looking around she could see why Emalina had been rattled, a dark, deserted theme park, with the ghost train and restaurant open for one winter evening just for them. Alice’s friends ran the place, but there was no comfort from knowing that.
A man approached the theme park gate and opened it; his face was hidden in the hood of his raincoat. Despite this, Alice recognised him; “Hi Kevin.”
They followed Kevin past the deserted rides, to the ghost train.
“This looks rather neglected,” commented Emalina, “are you sure it’s safe?”
“Yes,” Kevin replied.
“I don’t want to get on it,” Lucy shivered.
“Anyone who doesn’t get on it doesn’t go to the meal,” Emalina stated, “I assume you all decided among yourselves this was what we’re going to do, so you can all suffer the consequences.”
Her staff got into their separate cars, each with a different kind of creature of the night on it. The last carriage had a vampire, Emalina chose that one.
One by one
the cars were spat into a dark tunnel, Emalina heard the screams of her staff,
Lucy’s and Natalie’s sounded particularly frightened. Good.
Emalina’s carriage jolted, interrupting her thoughts and she hurtled
into the dark. She couldn’t see anything
at first only feel spiders’ webs caressing her face. Then she saw her mother just as she remembered
her with her limp blonde hair and watery eyes, a weak and cowed woman. Towering over her was her father, barrel
chested and brawny, dirty from working on the farm. He was shouting that his dinner had been burned,
he smashed a fist into her mother’s face and her mother fell knocking over the
Christmas tree, banging her head on the hearth.
She saw the tiny form watching from behind the bannisters, calling;
“Mummy? Mummy?”
“Shut up,
Emalina!” roared her father, aiming a kick at her mother’s prone form, then he
thought better of it and knelt down; “Marion?
You OK?” But her mother was not
OK.The carriage rattled past, showing her all the places she’d lived in as she’d grown up in care; the Henleys who had made her do all the housework, the Bensons who had told her she’d never make anything of herself and the Crockets who were lovely alcoholics.
The carriage
roared round a corner into blazing light and Emalina saw her own front room. Her husband was sitting on a sofa with
Patricia the woman who lived next door, they were kissing passionately.
“She’ll be
late home, she’s got this Christmas do,” her husband was saying, “she’s working
tomorrow too but I’ve got the day off.
We can see each other…”“But not Christmas day,” Patricia had the cheek to look disappointed.
“That’s the only day of the year the bitch doesn’t work. We can text though and I’ll see you again Boxing Day, she always checks the accounts then.”
The carriage continued, Emalina saw her children tucked up in bed, oblivious to what was happening downstairs. Her youngest son was awake; “Mummy, want Mummy,” he was whispering in the dark. Emalina reached out her hand to touch his, but her fingers went right through him.
The carriage careered on and Emalina saw the living room of a cheap flat and the body of Ashley hanging from the light fitting. A note was next to his body and she caught the words ‘Losing my job was the last straw …”, before the ride whirled on.
Then she saw Gloria’s kitchen, the intern was unloading her shopping; turkey for one, Christmas pudding for one, a mini bottle of bubbly …
Gradually
the present faded into the future.
Emalina was at her own funeral – Alex and James were there, nobody else,
but the mahogany coffin was beautiful and the flowers, oh the flowers!
“Well, at
least the bitch is getting the send-off she wanted,” Alex said, his rich voice
still the same, even though his hair was white.“Yeah, all these flowers. She left it in her will, don’t give any money to charity, buy me flowers,” James shook his head, “she never changed.”
“Did she leave you anything?”
“Not a penny. You?”
“Nothing.”
“But you were her PA all these years!”
Alex shrugged; “I got paid for it.”
The carriage moved on, Emalina saw her sons, successful and sharp suited, in her empty house, sorting through her possessions, counting what they would inherit, satisfaction honeying their voices.
“I hate funerals,” Edmond was saying, “Mummy won’t mind us not going.”
“No,” agreed Eustace, “and she was never there for us, so why should we be there for her?”
The carriage
hurtled its way back into the theme park and Emalina could breathe again. She alighted from the ride, face flushed. She could see the eyes of her co-workers upon
her and she smiled genuinely for the first time in years.
“How was
it?” Alex asked.“Very good,” she replied, “a very personal experience, I wonder how that was done.”
“I didn’t get a personal experience,” James stated.
“Well, you’re not very important, are you?” Emalina said, “right, what time is it? Eight o’clock, let’s get this dinner over with. Remember what I said, I want you fresh as daisies in work tomorrow, I know it’s Christmas Eve and in past years you’ve expected to leave early, but let me re-iterate it’s a day the same as any other, you come in at eight, twelve hours from now and you leave at six with half an hour for lunch, so no going to the pub.”
Her staff looked so disappointed; Alice especially looked as if she might cry.
“Well, you’re getting Christmas day off!” Emalina said.
At the table in the hotel, Emalina made sure she sat next to Alice; “Alice, tell me how you managed to make the ride so relevant? “ She raised her voice, “Do you know what everyone? I’m proud of myself. I didn’t have the best start, but I’m a self-made woman. Sure, I’ve made some ruthless decisions and perhaps there have been casualties, but you can’t be successful and not cause some collateral. My sons are going to grow up to be fine, independent men - especially after I’ve made a few adjustments at home. Great heads up about my husband, Alice, I’m impressed. James, take off that dreadful tie!”
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